Agents of Facebook
by RoxasSerenity
Summary: Just some random ideas I pit together if our favourite agents had facebook. Just friendship for now but may do more relationship stuff if you guys are interested in me continuing
1. Chapter 1

_Like our favourite SHIELD agent, I have returned from the dead, figuratively of course. No one will take me to TAHITI, regardless of how magical its supposed to be._

_I havent been doing much writing lately but I've been watching AoS constantly for the past few days as well as re-reading some of my older work and this happened. This came from another Facebook Story I did about 4 years ago, which somehow became a CSI/Avengers crossover. This one will hopefully remain a strictly AoS story though._

_DISCLAIMER: I own nada. I worship Stan Lee and Joss Whedon though for their awesomeness as well as Marvel for giving Coulson his own show because everyone loves Coulson._

_References to Episodes 2 and 9 but no spoilers I promise._

_Please let me know if I should keep going. This will probably start slow if people are interested but all thoughts are much appreciated._

_And before I forget, the fact you will read about fish, I made it up. They wont actually explode at 30,000 feet...I think_

Facebook AoS

**Skye **Once again, the big guy has denied us a fish tank. Whats wrong with wanting to add a little life to this place?

**Like Comment**

**Grant Ward **I don't understand why you and FitzSimmonds are so hell bent on this. You cant keep animals of any kind at 30,000 feet. Not only is it troublesome and a waste of space, but too much pressure in the tank and you're precious fish will explode

**Leo Fitz **Why would you say something like? A) you don't know that and B) you're a jerk for saying such awful things

**Jemma Simmonds** Breath Fitz, passing out isn't going to get Fury to change his mind. Especially after the last 084 incident.

**Phil Coulson **Simmonds, remove that comment its classified.

**Jemma Simmonds **Right away sir. Sorry sir.

**Skye **Come on AC, we're not asking for a huge thing with ten thousand tropical fish, we arent even allowed a freaking tiny gold fish bowl. Impractical I know, considering our living arrangements, but it isn't hard to find the thing water

And seriously Ward? That comment was a little harsh.

**Leo Fitz **A little? I can practically hear the poor thing dying as we speak just from his words

**Phil Coulson **I know you arent happy about it, I'm a little bummed myself, but I don't pay the bills when windows get broken so its not my say.

**Leo Fitz **I'm sorry ok? How was I to know that Ward hadn't put the safety on properly?

**Melinda May **Is this seriously what you do all day? Have petty arguments using a keyboard?

**Leo Fitz **May has facebook?

**Skye **Coulson threatened to lock Fitz and Ward in the box if they started fighting in the lab again. Especially after the aforementioned incident.

**Melinda May **When you kids are finished, we're coming in so get off here and be ready.

**Phil Coulson **Everyone has facebook Fitz, how could you not know that?

**Melinda May **Coulson, you are not the exception to the rule

**Phil Coulson **Sorry

**Leo Fitz **Alright guys, who the hell glued my DVDs to the ceiling in my bunker? I said I was sorry

**Like Comment**

**Skye **Dont look at me dude, I've been running drills with Ward all morning.

**Jemma Simmonds **At least they were nice enough to take the labels out first and you can still get into them for the disks

**Grant Ward **Maybe next time you'll think twice about trying to pull a childish prank while we're in the air.

**Leo Fitz **It was a joke. How was I supposed to know that certain events were going to happen? I'm not like you Ward, I never got to do the whole "prank the juniors" thing.

And that is not the point Jemma.

**Jemma Simmonds **There's no need to get hostile Fitz. I couldn't have done it. I've been with you in the lab.

**Leo Fitz **Well it had to have been someone, DVDs don't magically glue themselves to anything, especially the ceiling. First the cream and now this? Seriously people, stop messing with me.

**Phil Coulson **Someone touched Lola. No one touches Lola.

**Like Comment**

**Melinda May **Men and their toys

**Phil Coulson **Says the woman who sleeps with a knife under her pillow

**Skye **Umm AC, how would you know something like that?

**Phil Coulson **That's classified

**Skye **Your heroes have died

**Like Comment**

**Leo Fitz **What? How could you do that?

**Skye **Relax Fitz, its just a song

**Leo Fitz **But what about Mufasa? YOU KILLED MUFASA!

**Skye **Umm...last time I checked, Scar killed Mufasa not me.

**Leo Fitz ** But he's still dead Skye!

**Skye **I am not discussing this with you

**Melinda May **I will say this once. Who took my cookies from the kitchen? Come forward voluntarily and I MIGHT let you live.

**Like Comment**

**Melinda May Phil Coulson **I know you took them Phil. I can see you eating them in your office. **Skye** has the video on screen.

**Like Comment**

**Phil Coulson **I have no idea what you're talking about.

**Skye **You promised to keep me out of this.

**Melinda May **. Sorry Skye

**Phil Coulson Skye **You are so grounded

**Like Comment**


	2. Chapter 2

_I have to say, I'm proud of myself with this chapter. I may have even set a new high score for number of references in one chapter. (Dont hold me to that) My sudden burst of Joss Whedon references may have sporned from two days of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I have no excuse for the rest though._

_Thank you guys for all the support, you are totally amazing. People were kind enough to point out that I unintentionally spelt Simmons wrong, I will correct it,if I havent by the time you read this. I will point out that, the Giles reference at the beginning, I've been trying to think of a way to use it all day. My life is sad._

_As usual, please review, let me know what you think I love hearing about any improvements, status or reference suggestions, requests. Go nuts guys. As long as I understand them ya know? I'll stop typing now._

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**Skye: Let's do the timewarp again!**

**Like Comment**

_12 people like this_

Phil Coulson: You're supposed to be doing research, not watching the Rocky Horror Show. And don't lie. The whole BUS can hear it.

Skye: Sorry AC, didn't realise it was so loud.

Phil Coulson: Off Skye, not down

Skye: Come on AC, I can multitask

Grant Ward: How exactly can you use your laptop and dance around the lab table at the same time?

Skye: Have I ever let you down?

Phil Coulson: Shall I answer that or just glare?

Skye: Chill out Giles, I'll turn it off

Grant Ward: Who's Giles?

Skye: Never mind

**Grant Ward: Guys, seriously, who is Giles?**

**Like Comment**

Leo Fitz: Seriously, where have you been living?

Melinda May: Even I know that one

Jemma Simmons: Poor Ward. It must have been hard for you growing up.

Jemma Simmons: I'm sorry, that didn't come out right.

Skye: I call a Buffy marathon!

Phil Coulson: Not after the last one you're not

Skye: Hey, it was no one's fault that Fitz flipped out at the end of the last episode. Except Fitz's

Leo Fitz: Firefly was a briliant show that should not have been cancelled, especially half way through its first and only season.

Grant Ward: It was canned over ten years ago Fitz, you need to get over it

Leo Fitz: You did not just say that.

Jemma Simmons: Here we go.

Leo Fitz: Joss Whedon had a brilliant and unique idea that was struck down by some stupid money hungry jerk who couldn't think of his own idea so he squashed the dreams of others

Skye: We get it Fitz, long live the Browncoats.

Grant Ward: My point is, Joss Whedon has done a lot more since Firefly. Its not like he disappeared.

Jemma Simmons: Please delete this status before he gets started again.

**Phil Coulson: I am forced to officially make this a BUS rule. The F-Track, Hot Dogs and 99 Problems are NOT appropiate ringtones for SHIELD agents**

**Like Comment**

Melinda May: Who changed mine to The Bitch is Back?

Phil Coulson: That's nothing. Mine is now Darth Vader's theme.

Skye: Hakuna Matata? Are you freaking serious?

Jemma Simmons: It means no worries?

Skye: So not funny.

Leo Fitz: Who do you think got stuck with 99 Problems? Its highly inappropriate

Skye: But you do have 99 problems Fitz.

Skye: And a bitch aint one.

Leo Fitz: Not cool Skye. I was in the middle of a very important video call when my phone went off, you cant comprehend how embarassing it was.

Skye: Dont blow a vein dude, it was just a joke

**Leo Fitz: For the last time _Skye, _the lab equipment is not a quicker alternative for the microwave. Wait you're turn like everyone else.**

**Like Comment**

Skye: Wow Brain, I had a sandwich for lunch. I don't anything radioactive to make two slices of bread, ham and salad.

Leo Fitz: Well if you didn't then who did? And I am not a mouse with a big head.

Skye: I was badly attempting to compliment your intelligence. Wont be trying that again.

Jemma Simmons: It was just a little melted cheese Fitz, no harm done.

Skye: Someone ICE him before he goes on another keyboard rant

Phil Coulson: ICERS are not to be used on the BUS Skye, especially not on other team members

Skye: Spoil sport.

Phil Coulson: I live to ruin your day.


End file.
